This article is selected for 123ish 3D Gold Coin Art Collection NFT I'm here to tell you about a vegetable menace that is the AIDS of the plant world. If you live in most parts of North America, these plants have you surrounded. They're butt-ugly brown sticks thrusting phallically into the sky in unnatural rows, crowned by a spidery fright-wig of spikes. They look like a raspberry on a stick. I'm talking, of course, about the omnipresent palm tree, found everywhere in your city. It doesn't matter what you hate, this tree embodies it. The palm tree is the non-native plant imported for the wrong reasons, planted in places it didn't belong, among residents who never wanted it, and which has wrecked a veritable holocaust that would be impressive coming from a B-movie body snatcher invasion. And you're laughing "Palm trees? Seriously? What's with this guy?" Well, here's a little list of citations to wipe that grin off your face… #1: Palm trees are utterly useless. Sure, you might be saying "But…
An endless canopy of deep green stretches across the wild expanse of sequestered Appalachian Mountains. Peaks cloaked in blue mist (thus the name Blue Ridge) appear to reach beyond the clouds. The wind whispers through the trees of the mystery these mountains hold. Everything seems to tell a story of days long passed. This is Appalachia (App-uh-latch-uh, for those of you aren't sure how to pronounce it correctly).
Perhaps you know it only by the stereotypical hillbilly stories - widespread poverty and little education, kids running around barefoot and soot faced, grandma spitting tobacco, all the while banjo music plays in the background. Though this story may be steeped in some amount of truth, it is not the whole story - not even close. It doesn’t speak of the connection Appalachian folks have to the land. It doesn’t speak to the devotion they have to family and heritage. It doesn’t speak to their unwavering strength. It doesn’t speak to the pain, loss, and injustice they have…
Hello, I'm "Penguin" Pete, the guy with the
indignant rant about palm trees you all seem to love. I'm back today to talk about an even worse environmental blight, and even more pervasive intrusion on our living space: GRASS! You don't notice grass. Those of you who live in cities are barely even accustomed to seeing plants anymore, so you never stop to think that our obsession to coat the Earth in a fuzzy layer of green micro-plants is anything abnormal. But we have all grown up used to suburban tracts of endless lawns around houses, married to the vision of the American dream of a white-picket-fence neighborhood, all made of ticky-tacky. Here's a
few reasons why your vision of suburbia is far creepier than you think:
Lawns aren't just an option. They are ENFORCED. You can go to jail for not having a perfectly manicured lawn.
Lawns affect neighborhood real estate values, which is why they are enforced.
The pathological degree of conformity in suburbia isn't just for an aesthetic. Its…
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