Sign In | Sign Up

Parenting

Helicopter parents

by Dominus

Parents love their children. They want to protect the young ones from everything that can harm them and teach their adorable little humans everything they need to know to become responsible, self-sufficient adults. Parents teach the child the proper way to do things and then they have to give that same child space to practice on their own. That means that in some situations the child has to be left alone to find his/her own solutions to increasingly more difficult problems, based on what they have already learned. While it may involve the child feeling discomfort and instinctively seeking the help of the adult he/she learned to depend on, the parent must resist the urge to swoop in and save the day because that would defeat the whole purpose of the exercise: teaching the child to act on his own. These situations are a simulation of what they are going to face later in life, as adults. Animals do it. They teach their offspring the skills needed for survival in a playful manner. What the…
Score: 1.73

Finally, Custody! Becoming a Dad

  Dreams realized usually create new dreams.  It is hard therefore to accept that a dream is not very far from a nightmare. Nor a nightmare far from a dream!  To say I love my daughter is an understatement. To say I understood what I was getting into is a gross understatement. Parenting is different than wanting to be a parent.  My daughter is smart, intelligent, sassy, good-looking, organized and controlling. Children of alcoholics often feel that their life is out of control and that they have no stability. In my daughter’s case that was the issue. Her mother was gone from time to time for days on end. As a very young girl, she was forced to fend for herself.  That is why I cooked with her, did her homework with her, and read to her on the phone on a regular basis. I was trying to provide some stability. The issue becomes apparent when the child, as a teenager, in the effort to become an adult, having had little security and therefore wanting to create it for herself tries to take over a…
Score: 1.26

Parenting, Raising a child.

Parenting at best is a no-win situation in the present and a winning situation if you are lucky in the long-run.    Life teaches hard lessons and as a parent, just because you teach the hard lesson is no guarantee of the right outcome. I've seen great parents have troubled kids, and seemingly lousy parents have incredible kids. I have no answers. I could only do what I thought was right for my daughter and me and my family. I tried to teach honesty, trust, helpfulness, kindness, thoughtfulness, openness, and a certain amount of thoughtful irreverence. Most of all I wanted to give her a sense of personal responsibility.  I don't believe you can be "friends" with your child. "Friendly," yes. Friends, no. The reason is simple. Sooner or later you are going to have to teach your child something it is easier not to teach. ‘Friends" take the easy route. They don't say "No." When that happens too often, there is a breach in the friendship. As a parent, you must have rules, strict lines in the…
Score: 1.24

Post-Apocalyptic Parenting in a COVID-19 World

This may well be the year when the American people learn to appreciate street smarts over book smarts.        Because kids right now can learn important lessons about how badly the adult world has lost it right now.   We have Betsy DeVos in charge of the Department of Education, which is like putting a fox in charge of the henhouse. We have the "demon seed" lady replacing Dr. Fauci as our national pandemic expert. The US is heading into the worst peaks of COVID-19 infection while the rest of the world is recovering. We've had a whole eight months now to come up with a plan for back-to-school this year… and we just don't have one!        It might be too late for most of you already, but parents, please understand that the US public school system is not the police. They can't enforce doodly squat. You are the parent, and in the absence of any safety measures to protect your child, you are well within your right to demand the schools enact those measures or just pull your kid out and home-school.  …
Score: 1.2

Miracle Happens ~ True Story of Faith, Hope, and Love in Infertility Treatment

by ChefPerry

  My wife and I had planned on being the typical American couple. We’d get married, work for a couple of years (to earn some stability and get to know one another) and then start our family. We had seen our friends follow this same agenda and it seemed simple enough.  We learned it was not always so simple…  Finally, after a decade of trying and reaching the ripe-old age of thirty-eight, we realized that having a baby just wasn’t going to happen the “old-fashioned way.”  So, we sought help.  Only to find that “help” to be very expensive.  The process of IVF (in-vitro fertilization) and subsequent pregnancy and birth would cost tens of thousands of dollars, which we didn’t have. But, we did have our house.  Years of scrimping, saving, used cars and brown-bag lunches had allowed us to pay off our school debts and save just enough for a down payment on a small three-bedroom, two-bath house on the outskirts of town.  Vickie and I both worked full time, living in tiny apartments in bad neighborhoods to…
Score: 1.12

Busting The Dad Myths and Advice for New Fathers

by ChefPerry

Anyone who tells you fatherhood is the greatest thing that can happen to you, they are understating it.”– Mike Myers          So, you have a new dad (or are about to become) a new dad?  Becoming a new dad for the first time can often be a daunting prospect. Especially if you were void of a good role model in your own life growing up. Research tells us that around 47% of fathers today still believe that their role in those first three years of their child’s life is that of a “Helper” – rather than a “Primary Care Giver”.  I would suggest to fathers everywhere that they begin to embrace the idea of being a “hands-on father” and realize that you were never meant to simply be a “helper”. Your intimate involvement from the first day of your child’s life is just as vital as that of their mother.  Most new dads carrying around some nagging assumptions about what it means to be a Dad. Many times, these dad myths and misconceptions are based on our own experiences with our fathers, other people’s experiences…
Score: 1.08

Why You Should Homeschool Your Pre-School Aged Child

        Stay-At-Home mom life is extremely difficult, isolating, and much more complicated than it sounds.   Many of these moms do not get the credit they deserve. Caring for children all day is extremely taxing on the mind and body. Many stay-at-home moms crave a taste of freedom and desire for their children to begin a curriculum early in life.   This is why many desperate mothers place their pre-school aged child in a program that claims to prepare children for kindergarten. However, more and more mothers are realizing that these programs are nothing more than glorified daycares.  My StoryI am a stay-at-home mom with three kids under three years old. About a year ago, I enrolled my then two-year-old twins in a pre-school program at a local facility. They went to their program two days a week for a half of a day, and I got a small amount of time to do the things that needed to be done without my toddler’s “help.”   However, it did not take long for me to realize that my kids were not learning…
Score: 1.03

The Art and Soul of the Long Distance Dad

  It is interesting to me to look back at what I have been through and reflect on what I have learned. Maybe I can pass some of it on to you! And, perhaps if you are going through anything close to what I went through this will help ease the pain a bit and give you some ideas as well. I hope so.  I got a divorce when my daughter was two and a half. Too young to understand, only young enough to know something wasn't right. Kids are incredibly intuitive, don't sell them short. Her mother was a severe alcoholic. Incredibly beautiful, (as in runner-up to Miss………. (State) of the Miss America pageant), and she knew how to use it to get what she wanted.    She had an addiction problem, and when I realized it, I went to a counselor. My ex-went with me one time and halfway through the session ran out. The counselor sat me down and said that I was in a tight spot. That unless she wanted to change nothing else would and that there was at least the possibility that she would use the child against me, even…
Score: 1.02