Fragmentation is not a fairy tale, or a fancy term that the psychologists use to explain some barely known process in the mind. If you take the time to think about it for a little while, you will find that you have it too. In fact, just about everybody has it. That feeling that you have when you do something but would want to do something else instead, is fragmentation. The denying, the dissociation from the dark thoughts in your head is fragmentation. The different “voices” in your head that belong to reason, laziness, productivity, anger, fear, insecurity, even "good" voices like love, compassion, these are all fragments of your own psyche, that sometimes go against each other. The thought of being broken into hundreds, if not thousands of pieces is certainly scary at first but nonetheless, a necessary part in the healing process. You have to know where the wound is, to treat it.
The next step is to become aware of the scale of this fragmentation. Once you understand what it is, you will start to see it more and more in you. This is also necessary, kinda’ scary but very educational. One fragment points to the next because they are inter-related. The understanding that they affect most of our decisions is crucial because when we see that they have an impact on our lives, we are compelled to pay attention to them.
The unconscious dictates how awesome we are
The unconscious dictates how awesome we are. The largest part of our mind is comprised of the unconscious. That is where the fragments reside. The processes that run in the background of our brain have a major impact on our lives and often mean the difference between succeeding or failing at something. All that energy that is expended on running background, obscure patterns in our head(which is most of our mental energy, by the way), could be available to us if we put the pieces, not so much back together at first, but have them going in the same direction, instead of engaging in a constant tug of war that leads nowhere.
Dissociation can only work for so long until it turns into something nasty.
The thing is, in order to start doing this, you have to admit that your “dark” desires are your own. You created them, you have to take responsibility for them. Dissociation can only work for so long until it turns into something nasty. Understand that the “intention” of the subconscious mind isn’t to make things worse, it is to make you pay attention to what you refuse to see about yourself. Bad thoughts aren’t bad at their core, they are the emotionally upgraded versions of the initial fragment.
Next, look at them without denying, without running away by means of distractions, without judging. You only judge yourself and that leads to further fragmentation. The emotion you feel after sitting with the thought for a while is an anchor to the initial fragment and by following it in time, from the present backward to all the times you remember feeling like this, you will eventually reach that first memory that created the problem. This is usually found in childhood or the adolescent years.
This is going to sound stupid or simplistic to some of you but stick with me
Once you have done that, look at the past you, the kid or the adolescent that you were. Ask yourself honestly whether that kid deserves everything that you know is going to happen to him/her in the future, due to that event. You have already been through it, so you know. Your answer is most likely going to be no because you are looking at a kid that knows no better. This is going to sound stupid to some of you but stick with me. You, as the adult, are going to comfort that kid, tell him/her it is not his/her fault. You will become the protector of the kid in that memory, and offer him/her what they would have needed at the time(an adult to protect them, a piece of advice, unconditional love and comfort, acceptance etc.). This is the core of resolving an emotional issue. The event has already happened but because it remained unresolved, it keeps playing in the back of our minds until we handle it. We are dealing with the internalized image of the problem and thus are able to resolve it in our mind, because it is, in fact, just a memory. We are not altering the memory but replaying it in a way that allows us to release all the pent-up emotion caught up in it.
It is hard at first
This is a mind game that does wonders on those willing to take it seriously. The release of energy is powerful, the understanding that comes with it is long-lasting and gives momentum to tackle the next issue. After a while, it gets easier. That also means that it is hard at first. It sucks, to be honest, and most people quit because they find that behind every problem is a new one, unwilling to admit that they put them there. The extent of the work that you have to do to release yourself from these limitations is proportional to the extent of the damage that you or others have done to you.
This is a momentum-based process
Now, this does not mean that you have to spend the next 15 years “fixing” yourself because you have had a particular issue for 15 years. The more you do it, the more that you are willing to sit with the parts of you that aren’t exactly extraordinary, the more you understand about yourself and how to speed up the process. The better you get at it, the better it gets. The more fragments you discover and resolve, the better you feel. This is a momentum-based process and you will need momentum. Some fragments are easier integrated than others and when you get to a particularly stubborn one, you have your work cut out for you. It is important to stick with it because the release of emotion and energy from these issues is also substantially greater.
There is much that you don’t understand about yourself and this process sheds light on parts of yourself that are screaming for attention and not getting it. You literally make peace with yourself, everytime that you manage to get to the root of a problem, observe and resolve it. You get that part to work with you, instead of against you. This is obviously not the only way to do it but hopefully, this article has brought some clarity into the way that you look at yourself.