Have you ever wanted to procrastinate but that pesky proper education that your responsible parents drilled into you is getting in the way? Do not worry young grasshopper, just follow the vague guidelines displayed in this poorly written article and you too may one day be a useless addition to society, a parasite feeding off relatives you managed to convince that you are going through “a rough patch” or that you are on “an internal journey of self-discovery”. Do not worry if that little voice in your mind tells you to stop reading this article and do something productive. By the time you have internalized the wisdom written below, your mind will stop working almost entirely and you will gain amazing powers! Yes, I said amazing powers, like being able to postpone urgent matters to some unspecified point in the future, while feeling only mildly concerned about the consequences or learning to feel comfortable in your skin even if you haven’t showered or changed clothes in 5 days. Those…