Hello, I'm "Penguin" Pete, the guy with the
indignant rant about palm trees you all seem to love. I'm back today to talk about an even worse environmental blight, and even more pervasive intrusion on our living space: GRASS! You don't notice grass. Those of you who live in cities are barely even accustomed to seeing plants anymore, so you never stop to think that our obsession to coat the Earth in a fuzzy layer of green micro-plants is anything abnormal. But we have all grown up used to suburban tracts of endless lawns around houses, married to the vision of the American dream of a white-picket-fence neighborhood, all made of ticky-tacky. Here's a
few reasons why your vision of suburbia is far creepier than you think:
Lawns aren't just an option. They are ENFORCED. You can go to jail for not having a perfectly manicured lawn.
Lawns affect neighborhood real estate values, which is why they are enforced.
The pathological degree of conformity in suburbia isn't just for an aesthetic. Its…
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