What I mean by that is how women will take your caring for them as an unchangeable given, effectively putting themselves on a pedestal, and eventually coming to believe the misguided notion that doing them favors is a one-way street. I do things for them and that makes me feel good. When I need their help with something far lesser than what I have offered, I often find that they try to wiggle their way out of it. I get the feeling that our relationship is not based on the principle of standing on even ground while sharing the good and the bad. I usually have to get mad and genuinely offended before they decide to do what I have asked. I don’t like the idea that they help me just to preserve our relationship. There is no respect in that.
The devil is in the details. When I speak about things that women don’t want to do for me, I am talking about the everyday type of tasks, not big, life-changing ones (women mostly come through on those). For example, I have an unspoken agreement with my wife about the chores that we have to do: we both do them and if one is tired, feels under the weather or just doesn’t feel like doing them, can occasionally skip them. In theory, this is a liberal idea, allowing for self-regulation in a closed loop system. In practice, she is so tired coming home from work that she just lounges on our couch, calls her friends, plays on her phone etc. until it is too late to really do chores. Ironically, she is the one who taught me to be a neat freak and once that habit has taken root into my psyche, she stopped doing it. She doesn’t want to share the work, she just dumped the majority of it in my lap while occasionally helping, to make it look like she actually wants to participate. I listen to women and actively engage in activities that make them happy, only to find out that they don’t reciprocate when I want to do something that is fun for me. Most of the time I am greeted with a “Why don’t you go by yourself?” or “Ahhhh, fine!” followed by a look of desperation and discontent that makes me feel like I have asked them to do something horrible. Mind you, all this time, I fight against my natural urge to say something less than amicable, thanks to the education that my parents have drilled into me. Still, some of these situations almost make it worthwhile to act like an A-hole.
I guess that what I am trying to say is that I have had to learn to be a little more selective with my kindness. Not every girl is an angel and the ones that are can also have a darker side to which they give in every now and then. Women will take advantage of nice guys because they have a harder time saying no, even though they understand the role that they are made to play and would rather say no to being used. Girls, try to be nicer to good guys because when they have enough, nothing you say or do, regardless of how cute or innocent-sounding, will be enough to bring them out of their anger and despise towards you. When that happens, just remember, IT IS YOUR FAULT.
