Let me preface this by saying that this review is not a reflection on the actors or the people who put this show together, this is strictly a review of content and show writing and conception.
Dealing with divorce - as many who have struggled through this type of life event - is not just a difficulty felt by the two people who are separating. It is felt by the parents of each person, friends, children, and even pets. It can be terrible, horrible, heart wrenching, and life disrupting among so many other things. My parents were divorced when I was six years old and at the time I had no idea what to think. All I knew at the time was that my dad left and he didn’t want me anymore and that was enough to send my head spinning. Though this is not a reality shared by all.
I am a part of a C.O.D. group (aka Children of Divorce) where we have all discussed the details of our parents’ separations and what our lives look like now. And for the most part, we all had very similar realities - basically meaning that after so long one parent had slowly slipped away either because they broke trust with us and we cut them out of our lives or because they made us pick a side between mom and dad or because the parent that wasn’t custodial had a new family and we got left behind. So when we all heard about this new “sitcom” entitled Splitting Up Together, we were intrigued that maybe we would finally see our experience presented - but by the first trailer it was evident that we would not. In this program, the parents, played by Jenna Fischer, formerly of Office fame, and Oliver Hudson, decide to get a divorce but continue to live in the same house due to the fact that they are dealing with an underwater mortgage so financially living together still made sense (I guess…). One parent would live in the house and one in the garage and they would take turns being “on duty.” Now all of that aside, I have broken down my main issues with the show and why I think whoever came up with this idea is actually off their rocker.
The Children
Before I touch on the plot, I wish to discuss the real crux of my issue with this show. Which has nothing to do with the decision to make them co parent in the first place, but has everything to do with the role of the two children, Mae and Mason, in the relationship. Very rare for television shows of this nature, both of these children are listed as leads on the show, but in actuality it seems that their role is no more than to be props for the adults’ character development and are not actual people or characters in their own right. Though each child has a strong point of view - Mae is a hardcore feminist teen and Mason prefers to fill his wall with photos of half naked women - neither of these actors are given the screen time or ability to bring the character out to be anything more than a prop.
The reason this bothered me so much is because my friends and myself included have all been props during divorce proceedings - whether purposefully or not. Especially when you are under the age of like 16 and the courts treat you as property. It can be very easy to detach and feel completely isolated because you are referred to as no more important than a car or a mortgage, and why should you feel like you are something more. Or maybe it is where your parents use you to fight with one another and then you simply become a pawn in their arguments which is equally frustrating and soul destroying.
Final Thoughts
The view of divorce today makes me absolutely sick to my stomach. Rather than trying to work something out and be adults and take care of one another, adults are more concerned about themselves and become selfish and decide that “oh something isn’t working? Well screw it no point in trying to fix it.” And that is not to say that some divorces are positive because my mom and dad really probably are better off being divorced and it's better for everyone else in the long run, but marriage was once seen as something sacred and something you only wanted to do once. But when you have people who are getting married five and six times, its becoming less and less sacred and more just like a thing you are supposed to do.
This show cemented to me that if you haven’t been through it you don’t understand so I beg of you. Please do not marginalize the experiences of people who have had their family ripped apart. This idyllic world where people get divorced and it's funny and all sunshine and rainbows is not the norm and is not what should be expected. And creating a sitcom pushing the agenda that it is is disgusting and should never have made it to air.
