Introduction
Have you ever felt that the world is outside of your grasp?
Things happen to everyone else, why would they happen to you?
That dream job you’ve always wanted, but resigned yourself to never being good enough for it?
This was what I felt even as I started at the University of Alaska Fairbanks. My life was surrounded my dead-end retail jobs and wasn’t going anywhere. After five years of this, however, I reevaluated my life.
Why did I believe that I couldn’t do more? It was time for a change. It was time for me to be more.
There was a huge gap in my life.
I spent all my life working one job after another, trying to make money, but never making anything. The jobs were boring, and I never wanted to be in any position long enough to move up and get experience at a different level.
After a divorce, I was lost. I was tired of my dead-end jobs, I wasn’t making enough money to live on my own, and leaning on other people was giving me more guilt than pleasure. How is a woman supposed to pay for rent let alone do more than survive on the salary I was making I couldn’t even understand?
I wanted to make my life better, and the only question I had on my mind was why I was holding myself back?
Finding My Path
I joined the University. It had been five years since leaving high school, and I was finally willing to give something else a try, to start my life, to prove to myself that I could do what I put my mind to.
This was my major driving point, and over the years it kept my motivation up. I joined the Japanese Culture Degree program, every class I joined I felt more and more force to continue. During these first four years in school, I took it slow.
I gradually pumped myself up to working harder and harder. In my first semester, I took only two classes, the year after I took three. I became pregnant, and when I knew this would be extra hard, I took four classes.
I pushed myself so hard I even got onto the Chancellor’s list, I joined Honor Societies, I was unstoppable. I pushed and pushed, and no matter how much stress I put myself under, I still felt it wasn’t enough. Finally, I faced a study abroad.
Even though I had been going to the University for four years, I just barely made the requirements. The only way I would be able to be granted a Bachelor’s Degree in this Department, I had to do a year abroad in Japan.
Everyone else was so excited, I was too, but because of my pregnancy, I had to push off mine for another year. I had to find a way to make it work, where everyone younger than me were able to go without any true concern for what that had to bring with them, or what they might have to leave behind.
There was no doubt, I loved my family, I couldn’t and wouldn’t leave them behind to better myself.
Over the years my goal was to better myself, to prove I could do these things. This had changed greatly when I had my son.
I still wanted to better myself, but it wasn’t for me anymore it was to show him what he could do with his future. I didn’t want him to get to be a teenager and feel his options were small, as I did, I wanted him to feel the world would be in the palm of his hands, always within reach.
I went to every Study abroad Meeting, I met with the officer, but the path to Japan would be much harder for me than my colleagues. There were no family dorms in Japan, and the schools are not very welcoming to those coming over with children.
There is more concern than just for my wellbeing. My risk was three times worse than the other students. I had myself, my boyfriend, and my son. I would, in their minds, be less likely to succeed. They’d seen it before, and because of past students’ failure, I was being challenged harder.
My Study Abroad Counselor, wasn’t much help either.
I needed to come up with a budget, figure out an apartment, figure out visa’s, and much much more. But these were the only guidelines I received from her.
As infuriating as this whole thing was, I still tried. I was never good at coming up with a budget on my own, I had no idea what prices were like in Japan, what type of expenses I would be facing. The person I went for guidance just told me to make these preparations so she could send them to the University, they would then make the decision.
Budgeting
I was at a loss, but I will say I didn’t give up. I put more research into how I would find an apartment, what kind of daycare I would use, utility expenses, travel expenses, and so on.
I researched until I didn’t have any more time than I entered it into the Study Abroad office. After a time of deliberation, however, I was told that if I intended to bring my family to Japan, they would not allow me into the university in Japan.
I was heartbroken.
Who were they to say that I would fail before I even had a chance to go? When I went into the office to speak to my counselor, she took their side. I wasn’t mad at the university in Japan, this I can say for sure. They had never met me, they didn’t understand my drive.
This councilor in front of me, she was the one that failed me. She didn’t offer me any assistance, she was part Japanese, she knew what information I would need, but withheld it. She never believed in me.
Crestfallen, I went into her office, just holding back my tears, and I did what any mother would do in that situation. I lied. I worked with my most trusted teachers, the ones that would give me all the help that they themselves could give. They helped me find websites for apartments, they gave me information on the best types of childcare.
There is one thing everyone needs to know about Japan and their apartments, they do not usually have leases for less than two-year periods.
When I got my letter from the university, not only did they tell me I couldn’t bring my family, they separated my Study Abroad into two parts. I would spend my first semester in Sapporo, Hokkaido, and the second part of my year in Asahikawa, Hokkaido.
So, not only am I not in one spot for the whole year, I would be in two. I would need to find two apartments, and hope to find leases for only six-month periods. They were making it as hard as possible, but luckily, they didn’t realize who they were dealing with.
My Adventure
I found my first apartment through a website called Leopalace2
They found an apartment for me, included all the utilities, and I paid the
whole 6 months upfront. It was so much easier than expected.
The only trouble
was that I had a huge commute to school. I walked 45 minutes to the train
station, 30 minutes by train, and another 30 minutes walk to the university. This
was hard, especially since it took me a bit to find this path. I actually would
go much more out of my way before discovering this quick trip.
I also just
want to say that this was not always fun, living in Hokkaido traveling long distances on foot, especially during their crazy snowstorms.
Since the Visa’s didn’t work out, the University in Japan had control over who I would receive Visa’s for, I was also forced to go my first few months without my baby.
I went ahead, and two months later they came. I was a wreck those few months, but I can say they definitely made me stronger.
In Sapporo I was able to venture out on my own, try new foods, new activities, I was even forced to get a cell phone on my own. I can say, I thought my Japanese was pretty good, but trying to go over a Cellphone Contract all in Japanese, with a representative that also didn’t speak English to well, that was fun.
After I was done I was so grateful, and just as if leaving a good workout in the gym, I felt I had greatly bettered myself. I was jumping for joy.
After my Boyfriend and Son joined me in Japan we spent three months spending a lot of time at abandoned parks, as no one in Japan seemed to hang out in the parks once the snow fell, traveling all over on the subways, the trains. It was an experience I could never have gone through without them.
Then, it was time to renew their travel visa’s. We flew to Hong Kong for two days, went to Disney World, and then came back. Ready for another three months.
In February, the first semester in Japan ended, and the University in Fairbanks didn’t give me enough money to make it the rest of my six months there. I had to fight for my excess funds.
They ended up having to adjust the time frame I would be in school from January-May to March-August. With completing this I also was searching for a new Apartment in Asahikawa, Hokkaido.
I was able to find a really cheap apartment, for about 25,000 Yen a month (less than $250 a month) on a lovely website called HouseMate.
It was all in Japanese, so it took a lot more work, but with a bit of work it
was a success.
The Real Estate company were amazing. They were patient and
understanding. They were actually very impressed with me in General.
My
Japanese had improved by a great deal in just that small amount of time. I was
able to speak to them over the phone, able to get directions from them, and
sign contracts. I was impressed with myself.
This time with my family flew by fast, and before I knew it they had to go back to Alaska. Unfortunately, because they were on a tourist visa they were not allowed to stay longer than six months.
With only a few months left in Japan, I took the time to build friendships that would last forever and travel.
Time slipped away quickly, but when the time ended I was so pleased with myself.
The only problem was, the person I wanted to show most passed away. My Councilor at the University died a month before I even left for Japan.
It was a very sad loss for the University. When I first met her, it was hard not to smile when you were with her. I do still feel she was wrong about how she treated my case, but I hope she is in a better place.
Conclusion
No matter what I would do everything in my power to prove myself, to make my life and my family’s life better.
My teachers told me that they as well didn’t think I would be able to do it, and they were so pleased that I overcame it. Even though I knew my Japanese got better, it was an amazing feeling hearing my teachers confirm this.
I suppose I as well didn’t truly think I would be able to make it, but with enough passion and pure stubbornness, I made it through this one year abroad.
I hope others will hear my story and know that no matter how much the world is against you, with enough effort and passion you can overcome anything. You can’t just assume something is going to come of nothing, find the course and push through.